Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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