there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I can't turn off my feet"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
