he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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