I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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