I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
