i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
nutella sex= disaster
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
