Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So many bounce houses so little time
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
