they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
