She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize