he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
