also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
