i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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