so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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