Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
