I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
