I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My bed smells like the plague
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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