office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
