Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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