I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
