honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
