You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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