I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize