Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Please, let me fuck your mom
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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