Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i permit you to call me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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