I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
