we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
