I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I smell stomach acid.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
