no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
