Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
