You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just high enough for therapy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
