I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
