Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
