she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
