I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
