No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize