I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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