I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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