Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
