he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
