ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
