is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
