How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
