I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
