I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
