butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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