You're completely useless in the revolution.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
