last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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