Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She told me I should be a condom model.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
