So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
