I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
