i already hear my dad disowning me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The air was thick with penises
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
