Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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