i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
