i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
