If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
