i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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