I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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