I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize