JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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