did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have feelings that need drinking.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
